Hey, guess what?  I Want You to FAIL!

“Say what now? Fail? But failure is a bad thing, right? That’s what they taught me in school…AND in my job! And all my friends make fun of each other when we fail.”

Yes. Exactly. So what?

I’d like you to think back to when you were a kid. Everything was new to you in the world. You really had to learn things for yourself… How to eat, drink, think, walk, talk, and interact with stuff, right?  If you can’t remember any of that, just watch kids.

Have you ever watched a kid learn how to walk? They fall down a lot, don’t they?  But here’s the truly interesting thing: They don’t stay down. They don’t listen to their well-meaning friends who laugh at them, and they don’t care what grade they get. 

No, they stand up, wobble around a bit, and fall down. Then they stand up again, wobble some more, then put one foot out and take a step! 

After going through that process a few times, they eventually take another step, and another. After that, they’re walking! The baby’s life will never be the same, and neither will the life of the person/people who take care of that baby LOL!!  If you have kids, you know what I’m talking about.

The point of this story is that the baby didn’t let anything stop them from learning how to walk. And guess what? Neither did YOU when you were a baby!

But something funny happened between then and now. Between parents, school, and other fancy facets of society, we’re somehow conditioned to believe that failing is a bad thing. And for many people, the saddest thing of all is true: They’d simply rather not even TRY to do something for fear of looking bad or getting laughed at!  So they give up.

I know that it takes courage to try something new, and there’s no doubt that the older we get, the more set we get in our ways. But if you never try to do anything new, you know what happens? Nothing. And nothing changes. Well, nothing that you’d typically want to have changed anyway.

So what’s the answer? If you want something, you’ll try it anyway. And you’ll probably fail. But if you really, really want that something, you’ll learn from what went wrong, and try it again. Then do it over. And over. And over. As many times as it takes. And you’ll finally figure out a way that works for you to make it happen!

Pop Quiz Time: What’s the difference between failing…and being a failure?

The answer is simple: You only become a failure when you stop trying and just give up. Before that, you’re just in learning mode.

I look at it this way: There are 3 types of people:

1. The person who tries something, fails at it after only 1-2 weak tries, then gives up. They decide that “This doesn’t work,” or “This doesn’t work for me.”
   These people often become the cynics in our society (if they’ve ever even tried anything at all).

2. The person who tries something, fails a few times, then eventually succeeds…BUT the obstacles he encounters along the way are perceived as being very difficult, troublesome, or just plain too hard to be worth the effort. These people often either become assholes or find something different to do.

3. The person who tries something, fails over and over again, but learns each time what to do and what not to do. They don’t let anything or anyone stop them, and they find ways to actually enjoy the process.

4. These people are the ones who earn our respect. We celebrate and toast their success, and they often become the leaders in our society.

What separates those three “types” of people? How they perceive and handle adversity, challenges, obstacles…and failure.

The greatest thing about all this is that each and every one of us has the CHOICE about which type of person we’d like to be. You can either fail & quit or fail and win. The choice is yours.

Another determining factor of our success is the SPEED at which we fail.  Wait…what? What does that mean?  Well, if we already acknowledge the fact that we’re most likely going to fail our way to success, when do you think a good time to start failing would be?

Most intelligent people think about all the angles & possibilities that could or couldn’t happen. They line up all the possible resources, get advice from anybody & everybody they think has even a semi-qualified opinion, and eventually try something.  And fail, of course…if the original opportunity is still even available by that point!

But there was a lot of time that was potentially wasted. A lot of effort that could have been more tightly focused, had they taken some sort of more direct action that would have given them some very valuable feedback.

For example, let’s say you get a real estate lead. You find out the numbers you need (from your VA, website, a friend/staff member, etc.). You know you should just give the seller a call, but instead, you hesitate. You ask a few people you know what they think. You go online to do some “research” – find comps, try to estimate repairs, maybe even drive by the house. Eventually, you reluctantly pick up the phone, only to find that the deal has already been put under contract by someone else.  Or worse – listed with an agent! (just kidding, agents)

So speed has a lot to do with your success. You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to get it going.

To wrap this up, there’s a simple, 3-word phrase I’d like you to learn & live:
Fail. Forward. Fast.

Don’t be like most people out there: Afraid to fail. For in our failings, we will often learn the secrets of what’s needed to succeed. As the Dalai Lama said, “When you lose in life, don’t lose the lesson.”

And don’t hesitate when a new opportunity presents itself. Jump on it. Make your mistakes, and have fun along the way!

In other words: Fail. Forward. Fast!  Got it?  Good.

Now get out there & make some mistakes!

 

Until Next Time,

Tony Pearl